Take opportunities when they arrive.

Blimey, what a few weeks it has been delivery driving.

From abrupt endings to new beginnings. I’ve finished at one courier company and started back at my old courier company!

Having put my old courier company behind me thinking that there wasn’t going to be an opportunity to get back in, out of the blue I get contacted asking if I can cover for an injured driver.

Hey presto I’m back in my old company and working my nuts off busier than ever.

What with it being the Christmas period, the parcel numbers have gone silly and there is a lot of work. So much so that the company has nearly doubled it’s drivers just to cover it all.

I’m now covering a route that is paying better than my old route, despite being paid less per parcel, simply because it’s Christmas, but also because it’s a more condensed area.

And further down the line, I may well end up with a permanent route out of it!

So from thinking that I’d shot myself in the foot leaving the company as I did, an unfortunate accident for someone else has seen an opportunity arise for me and I’m back where I started, but seemingly in a better position financially.

We’ll see what comes of it in the new year, but I’ll definitely be earning a lot more than I thought I was going to before Christmas, so that’s awesome.

The increased worked load is really amazing. From what I was doing previously with this company, to what I’m doing now, phewee.

It’s funny though, the hours are the same, 11/12 every day, but I’m probably doing 30-40% or more deliveries every day, which even taking Christmas into account, is a big jump.

I’m going to keep my head down and just get on with whatever is thrown at me until Christmas and hopefully something will appear for the new year.

Until then, it’s 6 day weeks, delivering a stupid amount of parcels, haha.

The life of a delivery driver a.

On the exercise front, I’ve not done anything for over a week. The first part of last week was good, but then I stopped doing anything and this week I’ve just been so whacked from the 11/12hr days at my new job that I’ve not bothered doing anything.

I’ll probably start getting used to the workload next week sometime so I’ll do some bodyweight stuff and then probably get back to doing some weights again the week after.

Until next time…




Delivery driving isn’t for the faint of heart.

Delivery driving is most definitely not for the faint of heart.

Of course, I already knew that, but this last week has reaffirmed it to me.

From the beginning of last week at the new delivery job and being anxious before I started it. To feeling confident I could do the job once I was a few days into it, to then feeling anxious again after being told there was no work one day and then feeling confident again when I received a full-time job offer the same day.

Now here we are in a brand new week and I’m feeling anxious again ffs.

I’ve just been informed that the new delivery company I’m working for have had some serious issues in another depo that supplies the one I’m working out of and that there won’t be any work until at least Friday of this week.

The person who I report to sounded genuine enough and slightly embarrassed when he was telling me all this and also said that I’ll still get paid (although a slightly reduced day rate) so as to ensure I’ve got my van hire covered and some wage coming in for the days I don’t work.

But for some reason I felt like I wasn’t being told the whole truth and that I was being lied to. Maybe it’s just my lack of trust in someone I don’t really know yet, but experience has taught me otherwise and I feel that something is amiss.

The only upside is that firstly I’ve not been told there’s no work at all, so that’s a start, but I can also at least go and earn some money elsewhere for a few hours a day delivering parcels for another company now that I have a van.

If it turns out that I don’t get any money from the original delivery job, then at least I’ve still got some money coming in to cover my van hire costs and some wage to cover the bills too.

If I do get paid from the original delivery job then I’ll have some extra money at the end of the week, which would be awesome.

So it’s a bit of negative news to start the week, but it isn’t as bad as it could’ve been and at least there is a silver lining to it.

Although, I haven’t worked for this other delivery company yet, so they might be fuckwits to work for and chuck loads of parcels at me!

I’m sure they are not, but we’ll see how it goes as I’ve confirmed I can work tomorrow just now and if the original delivery job contacts me before I start tomorrow to say there is work, then I’ll just cancel this back up delivery job, they’ve always got drivers looking for work so they’ll be ok with it.

Hey ho. All part of a temporary delivery drivers life I guess. I just need to keep my chin up until I’ve got a permanent job again and things will be fine.

I need to go and lift some weights now I think. And listen to some boom boom music!

Until next time…


Time flies when reality hits home.

So, it’s been a long, but enlightening few weeks since I last wrote anything.

What’s happened?

Well, to start with, my old delivery job turned into a dead end. The new boss said there wasn’t anything for me, which was disappointing, but to be expected.

I got the impression that there might be something in the New Year though, so I’ve still got a little light at the end of the tunnel, which is good.

So once that was knocked on the head and I went full steam ahead with the other delivery job offer I had, which starts on 14th Nov.

The one that’s only 4 days a week, for 6 weeks and requires me to hire a van and get insurance etc.

The pay should still be exactly the minimum I need to pay the bills, so it’s good enough to get me working again.

There is a potential full-time position in the New Year with it, so as long as I don’t fuck it up, I’ve got a full-time job again.

The only pain with this delivery driver job is that the pay is so spread out.

I think because I’m working for a company who is getting sub-contract work from another company, the pay is spread out.

So I don’t get paid for the first 3 weeks of the job, which is fine, like a fulltime job you work a month in hand then get paid.

However, at the end of the 3rd week, I’ll only receive the 1st weeks pay as the invoice period is 14 days. So to make sure I get some money at the end of Nov I’ll only be able to invoice the first week of work I do.

But then I’ve been told that there will only be another 2 payments before Christmas and the rest will be paid after.

Which is a big shit.

But thankfully the new boss did mention that I should be able to sub some money from my earnings before Christmas, so I should be able to make up the shortfall and at least receive a months money before Christmas, to see me through to the New Year.

Anyway, it’s a little complicated financially at the moment, but things should work out once I’m into the New Year.

ScreenHunter_222 Nov. 08 12.24

In the meantime, I’ve bitten the bullet and sold a few possessions to raise some cash.

I had a long think about a few things over the last few weeks and I can’t and don’t want to borrow any more money from family so I’ve had to realise that money is more important than possessions right now.

The few things I’ve sold have raised nearly a months worth of money, so it’s by no means been an easy decision, as I’ve had to really think about the things I sold, their value to me in materialistic terms and monetary terms.

The things I’ve sold I should be able to obtain again in the future, if I want to or need to, but right now their value to me means more in monetary terms than anything else.

With the unexpected breaking down of our car and it needing a fair amount of work doing on it. Added to some family coming to visit out of the blue and us needing money to entertain them on top of the obvious point of Christmas just being around the corner and the added expenses that come with that.

Although that later point is an expense that I would spend out on regardless of the situation, but not having any money has meant it’s loomed larger than normal on the horizon.

These have all meant a large chunk of money required right when it is least expected.

But then monetary expenses tend to happen like that. They come out of the blue.

Hence my anger at myself for not being prepared for it all. Or at least being prepared, then putting myself in the situation that meant I was no longer prepared for it.

Pah! Fucking tosh, I need to go lift some weights and distress.

Long story short, things are looking up again, but it’s certainly been a difficult few months. All of my own making, which doesn’t make it any easier to handle, so I can at least understand myself in where I have gone for the last month or two!

I think I might be getting a split personality pmsl.

I’ve been consistent on the lifting side of things the last few weeks, which is a positive.

I’ve done some form of weight lifting every weekday and I’m feeling much better mentally for it. I’ve also been out for a bike ride or long walk and run on the treadmill consistently the last few weeks too.

I can feel that the mist that had descended over my mind a few weeks ago has definitely lifted and I can see clearly how I got into my current situation and more importantly, how to get out of it.

It takes a while to get into motion I guess. Having had the almost epiphany like mind fuck a few weeks ago. Right up to today the momentum has been building and it finally feels like things are back on track again.

I just need to get back to a regular work routine now and things will be pucker.

Having time to do things that you enjoy is great, but when you have all day, every day, those things seem to lose their enjoyment, especially when you realise to continue to enjoy them requires…. money!

I’ve quickly learnt that most of the things I like to do require money, which at the moment I’m only capable of earning through a day job.

I’ve tried a few other ways of making money, but I’ve not found anything I can either stick with (due to lack of passion for it) or that I can continue with a small amount of money.

Hey ho, it is what it is, something will come along eventually I’m sure of it. I just need to make sure that we’re in a financial position to take advantage of it.

Until next time…


If I’d known losing weight was this easy, I’d have done it sooner.

So I took my measurements yesterday morning for this first time in over 7 months.

On Jan 6th this year I took these measurements:

Weight: 75kg

Waist: 36 inches

Chest: 41 inches

On 11th Aug this year I took these measurements:

Weight: 66kg

Waist: 32 inches

Chest: 39.5 inches

Holy. Shit.

9kg scale weight lost and 4 inches around my waist. I really wasn’t expecting that much of a drop, I’d sneakly hoped I’d have shrunk my waist that much, but wasn’t really expecting it.

I only have proper fitness stats going back to 2011 and then my waist was 33 inches and my scale weight was 64kg, my chest was a measly 37 inches lol.

So working my nuts off for 12 hrs a day 5-6 days a week and not eating regularly is the way for me to lose body fat.


It’s funny really because I’ve never been a fan of food as such, but I do like to eat. I’ve never conciously not eaten because I wanted to lost body fat, but one thing I have noticed whilst working so hard delivery driving, is that my hunger disappears the harder I work.

I remember only a few weeks ago, I had my normal coffee upon waking and then my breakfast raw milk shake, with a banana and a scoop of whey protein in and that was it until I got back home at 7pm.

I realised that I was so busy delivering parcels that day, like stupidly busy that I didn’t think about eating because I hadn’t got hungry. Normally at some point hunger of some level kicks in during the day and I grab my lunch and eat it.

But that day I distinctly remember not feeling hungry and just drinking a few bottles of water.

Funnily enough when I got home and realised I hadn’t eaten my lunch I started to get hungry and then whilst cooking my dinner I felt proper starving and ate some of my lunch after my dinner lol.

Over the last 7 months I haven’t deliberately not eaten so that I lost body fat, my hunger levels just seemed to have dropped since being so busy delivery driving.

I’ve obviously known that this would happen as the weeks went by, but thought to myself it wouldn’t be this drastic.

Alas, here I am, having lost all the body fat I wanted to at the beginning of the year, and then some.

I don’t doubt that some of my lack of hunger has been due to stress as the job is pretty stressful at times, but I feel that I’ve got used to the stress levels now and don’t feel that it’s getting me down like it did at the beginning. Perhaps my brain and body have both become stronger from it and I’m now confident that I can deal with everything the job throws at me and consequently get less stressed from it.

As I mentioned in my last post, I did some deadlifting this week and really enjoyed it, so next week my aim is to do 2 or 3 lifting sessions of some kind and gradually build up to 3 or 4 every week again.

I don’t intend on shoving food down my neck for the sake of it, I’ll just increase my food intake as and when I get hungry.

I don’t actually like eating that much during the day whilst being so busy delivering parcels and prefer to have bigger dinners in the evenings.

I really like the full stomach feeling last thing at night. Although not really last thing at night as I can’t sleep on a full stomach, but within a few hours and I’m good.

I just need to make sure that if I eat more for dinner that it’s good food and not my normal dinners and then some junk thrown in for the extra calories. That’s how I got a 36 inch waist and I’m not having that again!

Anyway. It’s the weekend and what better way to celebrate losing so much body fat? Drink rum and play computer games.

Bang on!

Until next time…


2017 seems to be the year of changes.

Well, life is never boring for me that’s for sure. Around a month or so ago, things couldn’t have been better at my new job.

I’d gotten to know my route well, I was delivering more and more parcels and earning very good money I thought.

But then I sat down and actually worked out the hours I’d been working and the hourly wage wasn’t as good as I thought.

Then I got told that I’d have to work every other weekend, which wasn’t part of what I agreed to when I signed up to this new job.

I had no choice either. Work the days required or I could go.

Those exact words weren’t said, but they were implied.

Alas, here we are a few weeks later and I’m now leaving this new job.

What the actual fuck.

It seems working for the best courier company in the country comes with it’s downside. One of them being it wants it’s delivery drivers to work until their dead.

That might seem a bit drastic, but that’s how every driver I’ve spoken to recently feels like.

I’m aware that if you want to earn very good money in delivery driving, you have to put the hours in, but with 55hr+ 5 day weeks, every week, plus a 65hr+ week every other week now part of the equasion, they can fuck right off if they think I’m doing that.

I don’t want money that badly.

Sure I have debt to pay off, but I’m not willing to give my working life to a company that doesn’t appreciate it’s drivers.

Working for the best courier company in the country should have it’s perks. But that very same courier company doesn’t seem to want to make life easier for it’s drivers.

Having the same issues occur day in day out and still expecting the drivers to put in 11hr days every single day is just plain madness.

But wait, the pay is very good, so you’ll do what we tell you.

And there is me thinking I was self employed and could do what I wanted.

Pah, what a niave little boy you were WeeMan.

Anyway, no point in mulling on things.

I’m apparently self employed and so I am leaving on short notice, they can fuck off.

It’ll cause problems for the small depot and some of the people who work there. I’m sorry for those people. They don’t deserve the extra work load, but tough, that’s what comes from working for the best courier company in the country apparently.

I’ve had enough of high volume multi-drop work and I’ve only been doing it for 4 months or so.

It’s time to take a step back, get a normal 45hr max working week job that only wants me to work the ocassional weekend, once a month maybe with the ocassional bank holiday thrown in.

It’ll be less money for sure, but then I’ll have the free time and energy to enjoy lifes simple things.

It’s seen me right until now, it’ll see me right once again.

Until next time…


Turning 40. Is it a defining moment?

So yesterday I finally turned 40.

Not that I’ve been waiting to turn 40. You know,  just sat at home in a chair watching the world go by and now I’m 40 I can finally be free to go out into the world.

But that’s what it had felt like with many peoples responses to me turning 40.

This past week everyone that knew I was turning 40 wanted to know what I was doing to celebrate, was I doing something extra special, because you know 40 is a big thing.

Is it?

I didn’t think it was. And still don’t, but others seem to think the opposite.

I get excited and happy about things. But celebrating my birth and the 40th anniversary of it. Not so much.

I get excited about the end of each year. What I’ve experienced, learnt etc. And I enjoy looking back on the year and then forward to the next.

But getting excited about the anniversary of my birth. Again, not so much.

Sure I enjoy receiving gifts. As anyone might.

Sure I enjoy eating special birthday foods. As anyone might.

And sure, I enjoy receiving attention from people. As anyone might.

But I don’t feel like it’s that much of a special day.

Especially reaching a certain age.

It feels the same as any other age.

Even reading about other people’s experiences of reaching 40. I still don’t feel any different about it.

Age is just a number.

Cliche I know.

But there is more to it.

For me, anyway.

I’ve never been a trend setter.

I’ve never been first to the party.

I’ve always let others go first.

But as I’ve gotten older. I’ve started to catch up.

Perhaps turning 40 will mean I will be a trend setter. Perhaps I will be first to the party.

Perhaps I will go first for once.



I’ve always done things differently to others.

I watch. I read. I listen. I learn.

I assimilate what makes others happy and I do my own thing, my own way that makes me happy.

Watching others. Reading about others. Listening to others. Learning from others.

I won’t lie, it has been lonely at times.

But that’s because I’ve wanted it to be.

I don’t do large crowds. I don’t do large circles of people I don’t really know.

I do small intimate circles of people who I allow into my world.

I allow them to share their world with me.

Some people don’t understand that, some people don’t accept that.

Others do and we share each other’s worlds.

It might only be a fleeting moment in each of our lifetimes.

It might be every day of our lifetimes.

It might start unexpectedly and end even more so.

It might start meaningfully and also end so.

Turning 40 has made me accept the interludes of loneliness.

Turning 40 has made me realise that the loneliness has allowed me to learn who I really am.

For a long time I was scared of the loneliness.

I allowed it to consume me for long periods of my life.

But without knowing it, I was still watching. Still reading. Still listening and as it turns out, still learning.

Perhaps I’m not so different after all.

Perhaps I’m talking shit.

Either way.

Turning 40 is just a number.

But it is a number that has allowed me to become who I am today.

Turning 40 isn’t defining. But my life until 40 has been defining.

I wonder what the next 40 will bring.

Until next time…


Bad habits creep up.

When I signed up for this new delivery driving job, I said to myself that I’d be happy doing 10-12 hr days, as long as it meant I was earning good money.

Whilst I was learning the job during the first month and then getting used to it the 2nd month I wasn’t worried about my earnings. Now that the 3rd month is over and despite earning some very good money, I’m unsure as to whether I want to continue in the role.

Which is weird because I’m now earning the highest wage I have ever earned in my life. I’m nearing my 40th birthday in a few weeks and these earnings aren’t to be sniffed at. A lot of other people would love to be on what I’m on. Especially other delivery drivers.

I know that this level of earnings is helping pay off my debt quicker than I ever have before. And that within a few years I will be debt free for one of the very few times since I turned 18 and applied for my first credit card.

I know that I’ve got myself into a debt situation that I need to knuckle down and get rid of asap, so that I can have a lifestyle not dictated by what day job I have.

I’ve gotten to know my delivery route pretty well now. I feel confident that I can solve any issues that crop up whilst delivering parcels. And that the more I continue, the easier the job will get and the money will seem even better still.

And yet I still question whether I really want to be in this job.

Ever since I started working on the land 13+ years ago, I realised pretty quickly that it was my calling. That regardless of what it was I was doing, no matter the weather or who I was working with. I loved working outside and on the land.

Ten years came and went and I loved every minute of it.

But then I changed jobs and it took me a while to come to terms with having got myself into a level of debt that meant I could no longer afford to work on the land.

But come to terms with it I did.

Now that the warmer weather is here, I miss it again.

I miss working up a good sweat digging holes and planting things. I miss the aching muscles at the end of every day. I miss the satisfaction of looking at a days work out in the fields.

For sure I enjoy driving around all day in my new job. It makes me feel like I’m doing something different every day, even though it’s the same route day in day out.

I enjoy being in the sunshine all day and the fact that my route is pretty rural and I get to deliver to various farms and farm houses.

But every time I do, I just look at the fields with envy. Wishing I could be out there working on them.

I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to see out this year in this current job. And at least make a very big dent in the size of my debt.

I don’t see myself in this role after this year though. It’s just too all consuming. Two 6 day weeks a month and every day being a 10-12hr day is just too much.

Regardless of what amount of debt I have, I’m pretty sure I’m going to find something else after the year is up.

These last few weeks has been the hardest for some reason, despite me feeling more confident in the role than I ever have.

I’ve allowed myself to become lazy and started making regular excuses to myself as to why I can’t exercise more than once a week or eat healthy the majority of the time.

My diet has gotten pretty bad. Especially the last month or so. I’ve never drunk more coca-cola than in the last month. I’ve never eaten more crisps or chocolate bars than in the last month.

Normally I allow myself the odd chocolate bar, crisps or something junk foody during the week but save up a little binge for the weekend. It’s worked for me for 15+ years but for some reason I’ve stopped it since starting my new job.

It’s come to a head this weekend. Me being ill has helped, so it’s been a perfect time for self pity and wallowing. I’ve consumed about a weeks worth of junk food in 2 days pmsl.

Hey ho, I’m man enough to admit when things aren’t going well and these last few weeks have been pretty bad for me.

At least I’m aware of it. Have now faced it and it’s now time to move on.

It’s time to embrace the long days. Make sure I plan things. I need to do one thing every day weight lifting wise. Get back to eating healthy 80%+ of the time and stop drinking so much coca-cola and start drinking more water again.

Easy really.

Until next time…