Bad habits creep up.

When I signed up for this new delivery driving job, I said to myself that I’d be happy doing 10-12 hr days, as long as it meant I was earning good money.

Whilst I was learning the job during the first month and then getting used to it the 2nd month I wasn’t worried about my earnings. Now that the 3rd month is over and despite earning some very good money, I’m unsure as to whether I want to continue in the role.

Which is weird because I’m now earning the highest wage I have ever earned in my life. I’m nearing my 40th birthday in a few weeks and these earnings aren’t to be sniffed at. A lot of other people would love to be on what I’m on. Especially other delivery drivers.

I know that this level of earnings is helping pay off my debt quicker than I ever have before. And that within a few years I will be debt free for one of the very few times since I turned 18 and applied for my first credit card.

I know that I’ve got myself into a debt situation that I need to knuckle down and get rid of asap, so that I can have a lifestyle not dictated by what day job I have.

I’ve gotten to know my delivery route pretty well now. I feel confident that I can solve any issues that crop up whilst delivering parcels. And that the more I continue, the easier the job will get and the money will seem even better still.

And yet I still question whether I really want to be in this job.

Ever since I started working on the land 13+ years ago, I realised pretty quickly that it was my calling. That regardless of what it was I was doing, no matter the weather or who I was working with. I loved working outside and on the land.

Ten years came and went and I loved every minute of it.

But then I changed jobs and it took me a while to come to terms with having got myself into a level of debt that meant I could no longer afford to work on the land.

But come to terms with it I did.

Now that the warmer weather is here, I miss it again.

I miss working up a good sweat digging holes and planting things. I miss the aching muscles at the end of every day. I miss the satisfaction of looking at a days work out in the fields.

For sure I enjoy driving around all day in my new job. It makes me feel like I’m doing something different every day, even though it’s the same route day in day out.

I enjoy being in the sunshine all day and the fact that my route is pretty rural and I get to deliver to various farms and farm houses.

But every time I do, I just look at the fields with envy. Wishing I could be out there working on them.

I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to see out this year in this current job. And at least make a very big dent in the size of my debt.

I don’t see myself in this role after this year though. It’s just too all consuming. Two 6 day weeks a month and every day being a 10-12hr day is just too much.

Regardless of what amount of debt I have, I’m pretty sure I’m going to find something else after the year is up.

These last few weeks has been the hardest for some reason, despite me feeling more confident in the role than I ever have.

I’ve allowed myself to become lazy and started making regular excuses to myself as to why I can’t exercise more than once a week or eat healthy the majority of the time.

My diet has gotten pretty bad. Especially the last month or so. I’ve never drunk more coca-cola than in the last month. I’ve never eaten more crisps or chocolate bars than in the last month.

Normally I allow myself the odd chocolate bar, crisps or something junk foody during the week but save up a little binge for the weekend. It’s worked for me for 15+ years but for some reason I’ve stopped it since starting my new job.

It’s come to a head this weekend. Me being ill has helped, so it’s been a perfect time for self pity and wallowing. I’ve consumed about a weeks worth of junk food in 2 days pmsl.

Hey ho, I’m man enough to admit when things aren’t going well and these last few weeks have been pretty bad for me.

At least I’m aware of it. Have now faced it and it’s now time to move on.

It’s time to embrace the long days. Make sure I plan things. I need to do one thing every day weight lifting wise. Get back to eating healthy 80%+ of the time and stop drinking so much coca-cola and start drinking more water again.

Easy really.

Until next time…

WeeMike

 

Weightlifting at last! 

Finally managed to finish work early enough to be home for 5pm and I got some weightlifting in, finally! 

Was really excited for some reason lol. Felt like it was Christmas.

Until I got under the bar. 

I decided to start with some 5 rep sets of squats.

I’ll stick with 2.5kg over bodyweight to start with I thought. So I plonked 72.5kg on the bar and holy moly did it feel heavy.

5th rep I was straining, I could feel the veins in my head bulging lol. 

2nd set was strangely easier and 3rd set felt pretty good too.

Guess I just needed to greese the cogs as it were. 

I wanted to do more but thought better of it, we’ll see how my body feels over the next few days lol.

Also did some bent over rows, as I don’t feel I can do any deadlifting until I’m properly back into it. And I stuck with 46.5kg on the bar for 3 sets of 8 for those.

Then I did a 10 rep set of chin ups and finished off with some side raises, because I could lol. 

I’m going to work on a plan this week for the coming few months. And this time I think I’ll put down 15 exercises that I want to do through the week and then when I get home from delivery driving, I can pick a few exercises from the list, according to how tired I am. 

That’s the plan anyway, it working is another thing, we’ll see how my body reacts this week.

Until next time, 

WeeMike

A month goes by, all work no play. No weightlifting either! :(

Blimey, this last month has whizzed by. It’s been great earning a lot more money in my new job, but man it’s been tiring.

I worked 12 days straight during this month and it really whacked me, seeing as though most of the days were 12hr days too.

But now that I’m out the other side as it were, I can look back at a great month for money earning and for learning. I’ve learnt so much about my new job during this last month that I’m really starting to get to grips with it.

I thought that delivery driving was pretty easy, but when there are numerous finding address issues, oversized and overweight parcels, traffic issues, parking issues, customers not being in when they say, customers saying they haven’t received parcels when they have, on top of all the internal procedures I have to follow due to the high value of some of the parcels I deliver and it all adds up to a hell of a lot to learn.

So much more than I thought there would be that’s for sure.

But to make it all that little bit easier, I know that I’m earning nearly 100% more than I was in my previous job. Which is what I’ve been telling myself every day for the last month.

I don’t know for real yet what my actual month to month wage will be because I’ve been on a training wage for this last month, which means my wages have been topped up by the company.

This is one of the reasons why I joined this particular delivery company. Simply because no other delivery company offered this, nor the potential wage earnings either.

I can see that as long as I do my job, I will be able to earn what I’ve been told. But it might mean doing 12hr days five days a week one week, then six days the next week.

If that’s the case then in a few months time, I’ll be re-evaluating whether I want to stay here, as I know that elsewhere I can work much fewer hours for only a little less pay being a HGV driver.

I’ve decided to give this job a good three full months, or until my 40th birthday in July. And then I’ll make a definite decision after that.

I don’t mind doing 10hr days fives days a week, but when it creeps up to 12hrs every day, it starts getting a bit too much, even with the added income.

We’ll see how it goes.

Aside from work, I’ve not had the time nor energy to do much else. Until this weekend that is.

This weekend has been amazing in that I’ve had 3 days off for the first time in months, and have finally been able to get into the garden and do some tinkering with stuff, which has been good.

I’ve played video games, watched plenty of football and generally just lazed around the house and I’m feeling pretty refreshed for all this lazing around, which is great!

One thing I’m not really happy with since starting my new job is not doing any weight lifting what so ever.

Lifting 100-200 parcels of varying weights from 1kg to 35kg every single day really does tire you out more than you think.

Most evenings for the last month, I’ve got home feeling drained and physically exhausted.

I did a tiny amount of exercise for a few days over the first few weeks, but since then I’ve been so whacked physically every evening, I’ve just not felt like lifting anything other than my fork to shove food in my mouth!

One bonus of being so active in my new job is that my belly fat from Christmas has well and truly gone now, which reminds me, I need to take some measurements tomorrow morning.

Due to the lack of weight lifting, my lovely muscles have shrunk too, most noticeably in my back and chest.

Anyway, I’m not too worried, I know I can put the muscle back on soon enough, I just need to start lifting a little every other night and my body will soon adjust and I’ll be back working out properly a few times a week soon enough.

I do need to eat more food though to gain any muscle, as I think I’ve found the balance of what I’ve been eating to what I’ve been doing physically each day. But now that I want to start lifting weights again, I’ll need to add in some more food somewhere in the day.

I don’t feel hungry first thing in the mornings, so I’m still having my protein raw milkshakes, and then when I’m out driving, I take a small lunch with me as I don’t feel hungry whilst out delivering either.

So I need to come home, do some form of weight lifting and then shove a load of food in my face as I definitely feel hungry in the evenings. Well, as long as I’m home before 8 pm that is.

I start at 7 am and have been getting home mostly around 6-7pm. But some nights I get home gone 8 pm and just don’t feel hungry at all. I look back on the day and think to myself, I’ve literally had fuck all to eat, how am I not hungry?

Then I look in the mirror and at my physique and understand why. My body has been feeding on the excess body fat I’ve had, as well as the muscle.

So I need to sort out the weight lifting and the eating now that I’ve gotten used to the job physically.

Oh man. There was me thinking I’d gotten through the tiring days. The next month is going to be a right bitch.

Oh well, suck it butter cup!

Until next time…

WeeMike

New job, new beginnings and all that.

Not posted a diary entry for a whole month. Not felt the desire to write anything down, it’s been a productive month though, I’ve finally got a new job, whoop!

Ironically it’s not a HGV driving job, but it is a local delivery driving job, Well, I say local. The company is local, but the delivering isn’t, but that’s fine. As long as I can get to work within 10 minutes then I’m well happy.

I actually applied for the driving role before I got my HGV license, but then forgot about it as I was informed that they weren’t recruiting any more drivers at the moment.

Then out of the blue in the middle of Feb I received a phone call asking if I wanted to come in for a chat and then within two weeks I was accepted for the role and I’ve just finished two weeks of my five weeks of training.

I won’t name the company I’m working for, but anyone who has been or is a delivery driver in the UK will probably know who it is, or will realise who it is most likely in future posts.

I’m still training. And whilst I’m training it’s difficult to fully evaluate the role as my wage is subsidised by the company. But from what other drivers who get on with the job have told me, it is a very good wage, you just have to be a hard worker and get on with it.

I’ve just completed two weeks of classroom training, learning about the company, it’s procedures and it’s future aims etc. Plus I had a few days out with a driver to watch how it’s all done, then I had 3 days out delivering some parcels myself.

It’s been a steep learning curve, but a good one and now I’m eager to get going on my own route so I can get to know the area’s and then quicken up my delivery times so I can deliver more and hopefully get paid more!

I’ve read some negative comments about the company online and from what I’ve experienced so far, a lot of it is from ex-drivers who don’t want to put the effort into the role.

Sure it’s hard work, but any delivery driving role will normally be a 10-12hr day, five days a week, sometimes a sixth or seventh day too, but the difference with this one is that you get paid very well for it.

They don’t expect the drivers to work seven days, but they do expect you to do some six day weeks, which is fine by me. I want a job that I can earn enough to pay off my debt. Once that’s done I’ll go from there.

Until that time, I want the work and I’m happy to work six 10-12hr days a week for it.

At the end of the day, there are a lot of people who work longer hours and for less pay than I should be getting. I say should, because I don’t know I can definitely earn what I want yet, I might be shit at my job and have to find another one pmsl.

Enough of that, lets see how my first week out on my own route goes next week!

The last month has been great sleep and health wise. It’s amazing how great I feel energy wise and mentally too.

Getting regular 6+ hrs of sleep, during the night, in one stint has enabled me to start feeling healthy again. I’ve been eating proper meals, not snacking on crap and overall I can feel my body and mind thanking me for it every day now.

I’ve not got back into a regular fitness routine yet, but I’ve made sure to keep pretty active and do something bodyweight wise every day.

Yesterday was the first time this year that I’ve touched a weight. And I just did a simple lightweight ten rep set of 50kg squats, along with some chin ups and some push ups and I felt great doing it.

I’m going to gradually increase what I do weight wise whilst I’m learning my new delivery route over the next 3 weeks and by then I should be back to some decent weights and workouts and really start to feel like my old self again.

If only I’d changed jobs sooner!

Until next time…

WeeMike

When you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way.

It’s been a pretty good two weeks back at work after the Christmas holidays. I’ve stuck to my fitness goal of doing something every day and I’m feeling great for it. I’m not sure what’s changed mentally, but I’ve just been able to mentally overcome the obstacles that I couldn’t late last year.

Well, I say feeling great. Feeling as great as I can having to still get up at stupid o’clock. Which broke my record for early starts last week when I had to get up at 1:30 am.

It wouldn’t have been so bad had I not stayed up to watch the football till 10:30 pm that night! I did make up for it a little in the afternoon once I had finished work, by getting another 3hrs sleep, so it’s all good. Although I did have a banging headache all day and night, so maybe it wasn’t ‘all good’.

Hey ho, it’s nearly coming to an end. Although I haven’t got a job yet, I’m confident enough that something will come of all the applications I’ve been putting in, another 5 in the last few days and also the temp agencies I’ve come across have plenty of work it seems.

I just feel like I’m more eager to finish the night work than I am to find something else to move on to, which is stupid as I can’t afford to do nothing. But I’m happy enough that I can do most jobs that I’ve seen advertised by the temp agencies, so it should be all good.

I’ve spoken to a few people this week, or should I say they’ve spoken to me. And they’ve been more concerned than I have at me not having something lined up before I leave my current job.

I think for me, I know that I can find something quite quickly by going to the temp agencies, but also that I have plenty of experience of leaving it late in the past too. It’s how I used to change jobs years ago before I stayed at the farm job for 7-8 years, so I’m fine with it.

Anyway. Back to my fitness. I’ve stuck to my short bodyweight routines of 5 x chin ups, 10 x push ups and 15 x squats and done 2 rounds every other day and the days in between I’ve done a 20-minute brisk walk on the treadmill with my 18kg weights vest on.

It’s been nothing herculean but it’s been keeping me active and burning a few hundred calories so it helps my fat loss. Which has been going well I think? I feel like my stomach has shrunk a little, it already feels less jiggly lol. I’m not taking another measurement until the end of next week, but I do feel that I’ve lost some body fat.

But most importantly I’m finding myself getting home from work and despite feeling lethargic I’ve still gone and done something exercise wise, so I’m really happy about that.

I guess that right now I want to lose this excess body fat more than being lazy and eating rubbish food. Which funnily enough, even though I am eating more consistent, I haven’t really changed much, I’ve just made sure I’m more conscious of actually eating what I need to every day and making sure I log everything so that I can visually see I’m doing what needs to be done too.

Onwards and upwards as the saying goes.

Until next time…

WeeMike

Doing some form of exercise every day and IIFYM.

This is my new year’s resolution for 2017.

Doing some form of exercise, every, single, day. And If It Fits My Macros it’s going in my face hole.

At least until I get my fitness levels back to a decent level (for me) and my body fat (waist size) down to where I want it.

I’ve decided to take some measurements for the first time in a while, after all, if I don’t know where I’m starting from, I don’t know how far I’ve got to go.

Or something motivational along those lines 😎.

Anyhoo, here’s where I’m at today…

Weight: 75kg

Waist: 36 inches

Chest: 41 inches

So there it is, I officially have the fattest gut I’ve ever had. Strangely enough, I’ve got my 2nd largest chest measurement I’ve ever had and yet I’m not the heaviest I’ve ever been.

Anyone would think fat takes up more space than muscle! 😉

I’ve stuck with just my stomach and chest measurements only as they’re the stats that tell me where I’m at the best.

I’ve taken my scale weight just for reference purposes, I don’t actually care what I weigh, and it doesn’t matter to me, it’s my measurements that do matter.

This is especially important when you’re weight training. I’ve noticed a lot of people who are trying for fat loss tend to focus on scale weight.

It works, to begin with, as the body loses water weight and some fat pretty quickly. But then that levels off, and if you’re doing some form of muscle building exercise, then the muscle gain starts to even out the water/fat loss. Then these people get demotivated that their diet isn’t working and quit.

I think I’m going to weigh myself and take some measurements every 2 weeks, to begin with, then just stick to the measurements and only weigh myself once a month after the first month.

So this week I literally just did one round of 5 x chin ups, 10 x pushups and 15 x squats per day, every work day.

Today is my day off, and I’m doing a 30 min walk on the treadmill with my 18kg weights vest on as well as the one round of bodyweight exercises.

Holy shit was I sweating by the end of the walk. Talk about fitness level drop! Only 2/3 months ago I was doing short distance sprints (30-60 secs)  on the treadmill with it on, and not sweating as much as I did

Only 2/3 months ago I was doing short distance sprints (30-45 secs) on the treadmill with it on, and not sweating as much as I did today 😥.

I’ve deliberately stuck to something basic every day, just so that I start off with some easy wins for my first week exercising and being back at work.

This week wasn’t too bad with the early 3 am starts, getting up wasn’t the issue in fact. What the issue was, was the getting to sleep.

I was a good boy and stuck to my new sleep schedule. Every night I went to bed (about 8:30 pm) a good 30-45 mins before I needed to be asleep. But every, single, fucking, night, I was awake for at least an hour, lying there feeling relaxed and not thinking about anything, but yet I didn’t get to sleep that quickly.

It’s not surprising really. Seeing as though I’ve spent the best part of 2 weeks not going to bed that early. I just would’ve thought with being up that early, getting less sleep, being on my feet for half the work day, doing the exercise, that this would’ve tired me out enough to get to sleep quickly, just like before Christmas.

Hey ho, I’m sure I’ll be back to normal soon enough. Although getting the 1.5hrs+ sleep during the day does mean I’m at least getting 6hrs every 24hrs, but the afternoon sleeping makes me feel thick headed, and it takes several hours for it to wear off.

Although getting the 1.5hrs+ sleep during the day means I’m at least getting 6hrs every 24hrs, which is good. But the afternoon sleeping makes me feel thick headed, and it takes several hours for it to wear off.

I’m trying to stick to 90 minutes sleep segments, but it’s difficult when I set the alarm for 2hrs, which should allow me 30 mins to get to sleep, but I take 60 mins and then only get 60 mins sleep because the alarm wakes me up.

I’m not too bothered, to be honest. I’ve got less than a month left of this job, and I will then hopefully be in a more civilised one. Well, that’s assuming I can find one during January.

I didn’t really set myself a realistic goal of finding a new job with the holiday break last month. Most job advertisements died off for about 3 weeks, and are only just now coming back. But I’m optimistic something suitable will come up, even if it just gets me out of the early starts of this job, I’ll be getting better sleep and be in a better place mentally to look for another more suitable job.

Right, one last thing I wanted to write down was about my eating.

After spending the last few months not eating properly, not cycling to work or for fun, and also not consistently doing any weight lifting, it’s not a surprise my body has gone to shit.

So I’ve decided to go for IIFYM. Which for anyone reading this that doesn’t know what it means, it’s “if it fits your macros”.

I don’t like putting terms or names on what I do eating or exercise wise. I just eat and exercise, it’s no more difficult than that.

But I want to log and write about things more this time round, so I thought I’d give things some official names to make me sound cool. 😎

So I’ve done IIFYM in the past. Basically most of the last 15+ years actually. I don’t generally care what I eat, as long as I like it, as long as I feel good, I continue eating it.

Sometimes I’ve decided that I ‘should’ eat more vegetables, or ‘should’ eat a particular food less. But then I’ve become unhappy which spirals into not eating properly at all and not exercising at all.

So that’s not happening again, ever.

Plus, IIFYM is ideal for me wanting to lose a few inches off my stomach and do nothing else with my health, etc.

I don’t want to add any extra muscle mass, I don’t want to be any healthier, I only want to lose the excess belly fat, so IIFYM is perfect for that.

It’s simple to do and means I don’t have to change anything eating wise. I’m just going to keep track of things via My Fitness Pal, and that’s it.

Once I’ve lost my excess belly fat, or at least got it down to 33/34 inches again, I’ll probably stop IIFYM most likely. Maybe I won’t, we’ll see how I feel at the time.

Right, so I’ve worked out my calorie intake for each day, and I’m using that as a baseline level to build my eating back up to. Then once I’m consistently eating that in real food every day and also exercising every day, I’ll then change it accordingly to match my activity levels.

I honestly think the only thing I’m going to struggle with is eating proper portion sized meals for dinner.

Except for Christmas dinner, a farewell dinner for my partner’s in-laws and a pre-Christmas works dinner, I literally didn’t eat a decent sized meal for probably 3 months.

Instead, I spent the afternoons and evenings snacking on shit foods in smaller portions, and therefore I feel like I’ve shrunk my stomach and I just can’t eat big meals now.

It’s kind of a good thing actually because now that I want to lose some belly fat and have a lower calorie intake, my meals need to be slightly smaller.

I just need to make sure I don’t keep any shit food in the house, and then I won’t be tempted to eat any.

And that’s been my bane for months now. Having the shit food in the house. I’m good at not popping to the shops, or via the shops or even getting something shitty while out and about. But if I’ve got shit food at home, that’s it, I get all psychic and start hearing voices in my head from the food telling me to eat it! 😜

Ok, that’s enough of that today, I’m hungry, and it’s time for brunch.

Until next time…

WeeMike

Christmas 2016 – This time it’s different.

Oh Christmas, what a time of year. From memory most years I’ve been working somewhere that has had a full 2-week break, and I love it!

For as long as I can remember, most years I use this 2 week period to absolutely stuff my face with whatever food I can fit in it and do no exercise, what so ever.

In previous years I’ve not really gone more than a week with no exercise and stuffing my face throughout the year, and so I really looked forward to Christmas and stuffing my face.

I would normally get to about day ten and start feeling like that enough was enough and that I needed to start tapering off the face stuffing.

This year?

I’ve had enough already.

Am I getting old? Maybe I’m maturing? Perhaps I’ve finally consciously decided to moderate my Christmas binges?

PAH!

Fuck right off.

Getting older, yes, I can’t deny that. But age isn’t the reason I’ve had enough already this year.

Maturing? Yeah right, that’ll be the day I die. Shit, even when on my death bed, I still intend to be making toilet humour jokes.

So, that only leaves consciously deciding to moderate my eating.

Yeah. OK.

Sitting here writing this, I’ve had a bit of a think and I can only think that it is due to my current job and the last 3 months of obtaining my HGV license.

I think because I’ve been so lax with my exercise and healthy eating, that come Christmas time this year, I didn’t need very many days of stuffing my face to have enough of it.

Honestly, this year I’d had enough by Christmas Day evening pmsl.

I walked into the kitchen Christmas Day evening and looked at all the food, opened the fridge and saw more food and thought to myself “fuck Mike, how are we going to eat all this?”

I thought it was just having too much to eat on Christmas Day as is usually the case and thought that I’d be alright on Boxing Day.

Nope. I woke up Boxing Day and aside from a coffee first thing, I didn’t eat until mid afternoon and even by the time I went to bed on Boxing Day, I had probably only eaten the equivalent of 2 meals worth of food.

Yesterday morning when I got up, I had a coffee again and thought that there might be something wrong, perhaps I was ill?

Today though, I’ve felt in a contemplative mood again and had a bit of a think and that’s when I realised it’s due to my current job and especially the last 3 months.

I don’t think I acknowledged to myself how badly I’ve been eating until these last few days. I’ve not been stuffing my face at each meal, by any means. But I have been skipping proper meals and replacing them with shit snacks and then eating more overall than I would from a proper meal.

Hence why on Christmas Day I was stuffed half way through Christmas Dinner. And that’s not right, for me.

Actually, the signs were there a week before Christmas when we went out for a meal one afternoon with the inlaws. I ordered my usual gourmet burger and chips but had decided to have a starter of garlic bread too.

Nothing gargantuan food wise. But when I started on the burger and chips, I got about halfway through and couldn’t eat anymore.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Add this to Christmas Day dinner and I realised that I’ve been letting myself eat smaller and smaller meals and that my stomach just can’t cope anymore with the bigger meals.

All this in a matter of 3 months.

With the amount of rubbish I’ve shoved in my face these last 3 months, it’s a wonder my stomach size is at it’s biggest at thirty-five inches.

Fuck.

Did I just admit that in writing?

Yep. Little old me has a 35-inch waist.

Fuck me Mike.

It’s the biggest my waist has EVER been, and whilst by no means am I obese, nowhere near it. But I am far fatter than I am comfortable with. In fact, for the first time in my life, I am actually really uncomfortable with how fat I am.

I’ve gotten a podge belly in the past, been up to 34 inches waist size even. But 35 inches, fuck, my love handles are really showing now!

Obviously, I’ve noticed it in the mirror when I’ve lifted weights over the last 3 months, but I’ve chosen to ignore it, saying to myself “it’s just part of your lifestyle right now”.

Cock Womble.

I think if I hadn’t had a night job, then I probably would’ve done something about it sooner. Even doing a 12hr day shift along with the HGV training, I think I would’ve been ok.

But it’s been something about these early starts and lack of sleep that has affected my brain in a way that I haven’t been able to cope with. And thus these affects have manifested themselves right in front of me and I’ve chosen to not do anything about them.

What’s most funny about all of this. And it is funny now that I have accepted it, is that I know I can change it. I know what I need to do, I know that I’ve done it in the past and best of all I know I can do it.

It won’t be easy to lose a few inches of belly fat, let alone in the job I am in currently. But I know that I’ve only got a month left of this job and even if I can’t get a HGV driving job, I should be able to get another driving job at least.

Even if I end up at another driving job that pays the same wage. I’ll make sure that it’s a daytime hours job and then losing the fat will be much easier.

I know it won’t ever be easy. But I know from previous experience that I’m capable of going 6-8 week periods of doing what needs to be done to lose body fat. So as long as I do that this time round, I know at the end of a 6-8 week period I could easily lose an inch or more of belly fat.

And I think that is what has enabled me to come to terms with this excess belly fat so easily.

Perhaps other people would ignore it and more months would pass by and then these would turn into years passing.

Not me. 3 months is enough. I’m not as happy as I should be, and for me, that’s all that matters.

I don’t deal with acceptable or just about good enough when it comes to my health and fitness, I haven’t done for 15+ years and I’m not going to start now.

I need to be in good or very good shape physically to feel completely happy with myself. And most of all I know that being this way enables me to be the real me, full of confidence, able to tackle anything life throws at me.

And ultimately that is what’s happened these last 3 months. I’ve stopped exercising and eating healthy regularly and I’ve slowly but surely become less able to cope with what life has thrown at me.

Coincidence?

Nope.

Enough contemplating anyway. I’ve said to myself enough was enough before during these last 3 months and done nothing about it. This time, enough really is enough.

It might be stereotypical but I do honestly feel like doing a New Years resolution this year. from Jan 1st this me will disappear and the old me will be back.

Yeah fuck it, why not. I’ve successfully done New Years resolutions before. They’re easy once you have the experience.

That’s settled then, time to do some planning.

Until next time…

WeeMike