When life gives you lemons, make orange juice!

Just when I think that everything is going smoothly, I go and fail my HGV test and fuck things up for myself!

Four straight days of 4 hour lessons started off a bit dodgy last week with me not feeling very positive at all at the end of Monday. But Tuesday I felt much better Wednesday was a little frustrating as I was continuing to make the same few mistakes, but then Thursday it all came together and both myself and my instructor were confident I would pass on Friday.

Yeah right. Fucking idiot.

Within 30 seconds of the test beginning I knew I had failed. I hit a cone on the reversing maneuver and that was an instant serious fault and fail, but the instructor said nothing and allowed me to continue on and complete the rest of the reversing, which I did really well.

I then did the main driving of the test pretty well, with only 6 minor marks by the end of it (allowed 15 before it’s a fail), but I knew that I failed on the reversing to which he confirmed when we arrived back at the test center and said those fatal words “I’m sorry to say….” …. “Bollocks” I thought to myself. “I knew it” I said to the instructor though.

I beat myself up about it on Friday for most of the day and evening, but then Saturday I got over myself and tried to sort out another test. But unfortunately due to the popularity of HGV driving at the moment I can’t get another test until 7th Dec.

It put a spanner in the works of me leaving my current job at the end of Nov as I was pretty confident of finding a HGV role within 2-3 weeks and having something to bring in the money for Christmas.

So I weighed up my options of staying with my current job or leaving anyway and just finding a new job to get me through Christmas and passing my HGV test and then starting a HGV job in Jan, but it wasn’t looking great locally for jobs and I didn’t want to take the risk of not finding one in the 2-3 week period I have left in Nov.

So I’ve decided to stay where I am for Christmas and then also January, because that’s the busiest period of the year and it wouldn’t be fair or very decent of me to leave them with a new driver right during the busy period.

It gives me a little leeway too in passing my HGV test and to find a HGV job I really want. Assuming I pass the 2nd test of course haha.

Anyhoo. I didn’t do any exercise what so ever last week. I just felt so mentally drained every time I got home from my lessons and I was pretty tired most days too.

This week back at work and I’ve had three 2am starts in a row which was a bit of a shock to the system, after having nice 7-8hrs lay ins last week. Anyway, I’ve done some bodyweight exercises this week a couple of times, just to ease myself back into it.

I’ve also decided to be an adult about my early starts and lack of sleep in the evenings. I’ve been getting between 1-2 hours of sleep during the day time by getting home from work, having something to eat and then going straight to bed and allowing myself a proper foundation to stay asleep.

Unlike the last 12 months where every day I got home and just sat on the sofa and if I fell asleep I only ever got around 30 minutes.

This week I’ve got about 5 hours sleep in the evening as normal and by adding the 1-2 hours of sleep in the day time, I’m not feeling so tired in the afternoons or whilst driving early in the mornings.

I’m not sure I’ll need to keep it up all the time from now until Christmas as last year the work load tailed off as we got closer to Christmas, but I know I’ll need to get used to sleeping during the day time for January, as last year it was pretty manic and every weekday I was up at stupid o’clock delivering.

Anyhoo, I’ve got a job for Christmas, I work with people I get on with, we have a good laugh at times and I’m still driving at least, so I can’t knock my situation too much.

Just gotta make sure I pass my 2nd HGV test in December!

Until next time…



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