How do you set goals, when you don’t know what you want?

Know thyself

I’ve been reading a few different blogs lately, adding to the 247 I already read, YES I do have that many on my blog reader, which reminds me that I need to have a bit of a cull soon!

Anyway, I’ve recently been reading a new blog that I came across called ‘Forever Jobless’ written by a guy called Billy Murphy and it’s freaking awesome (I’ve linked to it at the bottom of this post).

The first post of his I read was ‘Learned Helplessness’ which got me thinking about my life differently and again I’ll link to it at the bottom of this post, as I highly recommend you go read it. But I wanted to share something that I started thinking more deeply on after having close to a 3 hour read-a-thon of Billy’s content.

And the thing I wanted to share was exactly the same as a post title of his… How do you set goals, when you don’t know what you want?

As soon as I started reading that post of his fireworks started going off in my head….

In the post he writes:

“I haven’t had business/financial as my priority goal for years, as I would often set a goal that would bring me more success/money or whatever metric I was aiming to hit, and would often find myself very quickly bored out of my mind, and preferring to focus on a priority goal such as fitness, or another non-financially motivated goal that I was interested in achieving.”

My mind instantly went BOOM! That’s your problem Mike I thought, you DON’T set any goals for business/finance so that’s why you don’t have any success financially or have your own business!

It might seem kind of stupid to you reading this, but for me coming to this realisation is really mind boggling.

I’ve realised that up until this point in time, the things I’ve always focused on are my health and my partner.

Which explains why both are in as good a condition/relationship as someone could ever hope for.

And because I’ve never focused on finances or business, I’ve never had success or good outcomes from either… duh!

It’s pretty mind fucking, sat here thinking about as I write this. I just had to start writing this post to make sense of how mind fucked I am.

How stupid have I been to spend all these years, yearning for better finances, more money to do things I’ve always dreamed of doing and yet I’ve never truly focused all my energy on having better finances, creating a passive income, starting my own business.

Sure I’ve given it a half hearted go several times, but I’ve never had any success and the reason being is because I’ve never really known what I wanted….

And to quote Billy again from his same post, he has a belief:

that setting long term goals, if you have not spent the time to learn much about yourself, is a monumental flaw.

Many people spend their lives chasing goals they don’t actually want, but the chase keeps them too busy to even realize it.

And I think that this has actually been my problem. I’ve not gotten to really know myself. Sure I’ve set health goals over the years and I’ve set goals with my partner on us having various experiences (like I mentioned in my last post) like going travelling or moving to different parts of the country etc.

But I’ve never set myself a goal that has come from knowing what I really wanted, because I’ve never know what I really wanted.

I’ve always been pretty happy letting life just happen to me. Life comes an goes, just let me be and I’ll be fine has pretty much been my motto.

And yet, here I sit actually starting to care about the future and wondering what the fuck do I want for myself?

Well, if I’ve never taken the time to really learn much about myself, then there’s no wonder I don’t know what I really want, is there?

Anyway, there’s no point me carrying on any more on this post, I need to go and finish reading Billy’s post first and then I’m going to have a think over the next few days about what I ‘really’ think about myself, what I do and don’t want to do in the future.

The link’s to his post’s are below, I hope you get something out of his writing, as I have.

Until next time…

WeeMike  – How to set goals. – Learned Helplessness


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