Things are not always great, but that’s when you find the real you.

So it’s been awhile since I last posted and being honest it’s not because I’ve had nothing to write about, it’s because so much has been happening.

I’ve finally been an adult about my training and realised that I can’t work on the farm job I do and expect to continue lifting the volume I was, something was going to give, and it was either going to be my body or my health.

I came to the realisation that whilst I’m so active at my farm job that I can’t do the full on workouts that I was at the beginning of the year and expect to have healthy relationships, keep my own health up, run my business and have hobbies etc.

It all got a bit much at the beginning of May when work on the farm picked up and I stopped working out for a few weeks and came to the realisation that I’ve got to take my training back a notch and stick with the basics until the farm work dies down again in the autumn.

My relationships with friends and family were starting to strain as I was feeling grumpy in the evenings from being overly tired.

My health whilst being maintained with healthy eating was starting to suffer because I was going to bed later to ensure I got business work done, did a bit of my hobbies and tried to maintain my relationships.

And the business was suffering because I just didn’t have the mental capacity to do all that and have anything decent left to focus on the business tasks.

Thankfully like most times in my life when a big decision is needed, something inside of me slaps me around the face and forces me to face my challenges, and that’s what the last few weeks have been about.

I’ve taken my training back to just a main lift and one accessory movement, which is enabling me to get a decent workout, still using medium to heavy weights as well.

I’ve got my eating bang on by realising that my lethargy during the day was due to not eating enough, despite increasing my calories a few months ago. Increasing them again by another 10% (especially the carbs) has really made a difference to my energy levels, and my body seems to be rewarding me with decreasing body fat (now under 34 inch waist for first time in nearly 2 years) and I have energy left over after my workouts when before I just felt whacked.

I’ve been open and honest with myself with where the business was going, or not going should I say. And with my partner and the help of some fantastic resources online I’ve now pointed the business in the right direction and things are looking as exciting and positive as they ever have.

And best of all I’ve still had time to enjoy my hobbies, which is fucking awesome!

A little soul searching, some reorganising and planning and I can do everything I was trying to do a month or so ago, and I’ve got time for it all now!

Something that I never really let on to myself was how stressed I get. I’m generally a pretty laid back and a positive outlook type of person, from the outside anyway. And even though I thought I felt fine up until a month or so ago, I was just simply ignoring the signs that were about to the smack me upside the head.

Compared to how stressed and disorganised I see others get I doubt mine even registers, but it was enough for me to not be getting the results I should have been getting.

Like I said, I’ve always had something inside of me that points me in the right direction, call it gut instinct, my inner voice, some being watching over me, who know’s, but when I’ve really needed a push in a different direction, something has always pushed me there.

I won’t say the right direction, because there is no right direction, it’s just the direction that makes me feel the best. And that’s the direction I wasn’t heading up until a few weeks ago.

Like I said, only now can I honestly say to myself that I really do feel that I’m on the right path again, and I can clearly see the goals I’ve had for my fitness, health and business for the last few years right in front of me again.

It’s funny writing this down, because I don’t find a lot of this kind of stuff on the net. It’s always positive, happy ending stuff on the net, well the stuff I come across anyway. And no-one seems to be writing about how hard shit gets.

No-one wants to tell you that if you want to achieve something big that it’s going to fuck you over, it’s going to suck the shit out of you until you have nothing left, then it’s going to keep going, until you either break or you achieve what you set out to do. And thank fuck for me I noticed that the shit was being sucked out of me before I broke lol.

And now I’m sat here writing this, it’s like I was a different person, not the real me. How the fuck did I not see the path I was going down? How did I not see I wasn’t really achieving anything, I was just going around in an ever increasing circle.

Fuck know’s. Maybe it wasn’t really me, maybe I’ve got a doppleganger who I swapped minds with for a while pmsl. Shit that’s a nasty thought, two of me, fuck.

Anyway, I’m refocused, reorganised and ready to kick some butt.

Actually one thing that stands out from the last month or so is that I had become afraid of being myself. I was trying to please too many people by being what they thought I should be.

I’ve always said what needs to be said and in my own way, like it or don’t, be offended or don’t, I’ve never really given a fuck, but I had started trying to not offend and not be myself, just because I wanted to please everyone.

Fuck, that was definitely my doppleganger, that’s most definitely not the real me lol.

Right, look the fuck out world, the weeman is back and he’s not taking any fucking prisoners.

Until next time…



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s