Somethings got to change, and I know what, but I’m scared to do it.

Well, the day has come and gone, and we didn’t get the financing that we hoped we would….. fuck bollocks shit cunt!

Whilst making the application for the financing at the weekend, something dawned on me that I hadn’t wanted to admit before, I realised that I’d just pretended that things were ok with the business and that we would get the finance.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Once I’d finished putting the application through, I realised that as we were already up to the max on our current financing, and didn’t have any spare income from our day jobs, it didn’t look good when applying for the extra financing.

Where would the payment for the financing come from each month?  Not from the business, the turnover each month isn’t enough to cover it.  Not from our day job wage, every last penny goes on living each month.

So it’s no wonder we didn’t get the financing when we had no real way of paying for it!  if we’d only realised that earlier, we could have saved ourselves a month of wasted time and just got on with the things we can do for the business for free.

And that’s where we’ve been going wrong.  we’ve been focusing on what we can do for the business from a paid point of view – what can we get money for to do things for the business.

When instead we should be thinking what can we do for free for the business, until it either pays for things itself, or we’re in a better position with our personal finances to get more finance for it.

I sat in front of the laptop most of Sunday morning, look at the business website, and wondering what the fuck we were doing, am I really happy doing this business, and most important would I be happy doing it in 5 years time?

And the answer?

Fuck yes!!

I like to think I’m a man’s man, but I am a woman’s man too.  I can be all macho and strong, but also caring and kind too.

Fuck me, what a douche bag I sound like pmsl I don’t even know why I said that!

What I’m trying to say is that I like to make sure my clothing is either from a British manufacturer, or if it comes from abroad, it’s made from alternative materials like organic or fairtrade cotton, or bamboo, or hemp etc.

And most importantly it’s clothing made by hand and/or with care, by people who aren’t forced to make it, but actually want to make it.

Is that weird?  To want to wear clothing that wanted to be created, rather than was forcibly created?

Sure it’s only a recent thing for me, like the last year or so, but I’m proud of the clothing I choose to buy from places that actually care about the clothing they create, especially now that I’ve got a pretty decently fit and strong body, and my clothing hangs well on me lol.

I’ve found especially in the last 6 months that I want better fitting clothing, better quality clothing, and that sure as hell doesn’t come from cheap shitty clothing stores.

So, yeah I can see myself doing this business in 5 years time, and can I see me and my partner doing it full time, working for ourselves, having employee’s too, and also a shop or two, or five lol.  I can see us being able to go on holiday a few times a year, for a month at a time, lying on sun drenched beaches, knowing our business is paying for it all. I can see us buying a piece of land and building our own house, having a big garden full of herbs and flowers, with bees and butterflies going from flower to flower, with a pond and a water fountain – all over looking a nice piece of countryside.

In what country though I don’t know, but both of us don’t mind as long as it’s warm lol.

Ah shit, I know, steady on right.

But fuck me, a man’s got to dream……. right?

Anyway, I’m getting off track here.  The business won’t even exist in a years time at this rate, unless I pull my finger out and start using my brain and really making use of the free shit out there in the world, instead of moping around because I can’t buy my way to success.

Ummm, oh yeah some personal stuff….

The weekend workout went well, barbell squats and weighted ring push ups was all I managed, but they were pretty heavy, and I was whacked after doing them, so I didn’t bothered with any assistance work and called it a day.

Today’s workout was deadlifts for the main movement, followed by weighted parallel grip pull ups, barbell row’s and weighted ring dips, and as always I logged the workout on Fitocracy…

Errrr, oh yeah, work at the fruit farm……

Today was mainly pulling out diseased plum tree’s with the tractor, and when it couldn’t get enough traction to completely pull the tree out, me and another guy had to manually pull them out, fuck that was tough shit!

In between a couple of massive thunder and rain storms too, which was cool as one minute it was baking hot, and the next it was dark, gloomy, thundery and pissing down with rain …. aaaahhhh, it’s good to have real British summers back again!

Until next time…



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