I’ve just taken a really liberating shit, and it made me realise how much I’m thankful for going to New Zealand in 2003-04 and having to shit in the bushes.
In 2003 my partner and I decided to quit our office jobs, sell most of our possessions and go on a working holiday to New Zealand for a year.
Whilst there and amongst various other harvest trail work we did – we picked kiwi’s.
Because the kiwi fields we so huge we would often be a good 10 minute walk away from the nearest toilet – so we had to improvise.
And this improvisation meant we had to cop-a-squat in the nearest bushes to go to the toilet.
As the year went on, I continued to squat in the nearest bushes to take a shit – even if there were toilets close to hand.
And here we are 6 or so years later and I am still squatting to take a shit.
I’m not going in bushes as much any more, but when I use a toilet I squat on top of it because it feels so god damn natural!
I remember a few months back when it was really cold in the orchard (about -8) and it was too cold to take my trousers off completely in the outside toilets, so I chose to sit down all scrunched up to take a shit.
Man it was uncomfortable, it took me about 5 minutes to actually get the shit to come out of my sphincter.
Never again I said to myself, and since then I’ve just grinned and bared the freezing cold and whipped my trousers off and squatted to take a shit.
I’ve just done a little Googling research on the interweb and it turns out that actually squatting to take a shit is better for you than the scrunched up version most people do.
And it seems us ‘westerners’ should take a leaf out of the ‘eastern’ peoples books and squat to take a shit more regularly.
Apparently when you scrunch up to take a shit on a western toilet you squish your bowels up and it makes it harder for the shit to exit your sphincter – and when it finally does, it actually scraps the sides of your bowels and can leave deposits, which can in the long term cause various health issues.
When you squat to take a shit it apparently straightens out your bowels and your shit can exit your sphincter all in one piece.
Well, I can vouch for that 100%!
When I just took a shit I noticed how clean and empty I felt after having my shit exit my body, and it may just be me but it felt really good coming out my sphincter.
Now don’t get squimish on me, we are all supposed to be adults, so we can talk about things like this!
When the shit was exiting my body I could actually feel it moving down through my system and it felt amazing – I’m not sure why I was more concious of it this time more so than I have been over the last 6 or so years, but I could literally feel the shit moving down through my bowels, and finally out through my sphincter.
When that last bit of shit had plopped into the toilet water I felt so liberated, it was quite amazing!!
So I say to you dear reader – go try a squat shit and you’ll be amazed at the difference.
You may struggle to find your balance etc but just prop yourself up by holding on to something whilst your squatting – and don’t give me this crap (excuse the pun) that you can’t squat, because if you can’t then your a poor excuse for a human and you need to get yourself fit and nimble, so there!
H’ok that’s enough of that – I’m sure I share far too much on this here interweb, ohwell better out than in (D’OH another pun).
Until next time…