Take opportunities when they arrive.

Blimey, what a few weeks it has been delivery driving.

From abrupt endings to new beginnings. I’ve finished at one courier company and started back at my old courier company!

Having put my old courier company behind me thinking that there wasn’t going to be an opportunity to get back in, out of the blue I get contacted asking if I can cover for an injured driver.

Hey presto I’m back in my old company and working my nuts off busier than ever.

What with it being the Christmas period, the parcel numbers have gone silly and there is a lot of work. So much so that the company has nearly doubled it’s drivers just to cover it all.

I’m now covering a route that is paying better than my old route, despite being paid less per parcel, simply because it’s Christmas, but also because it’s a more condensed area.

And further down the line, I may well end up with a permanent route out of it!

So from thinking that I’d shot myself in the foot leaving the company as I did, an unfortunate accident for someone else has seen an opportunity arise for me and I’m back where I started, but seemingly in a better position financially.

We’ll see what comes of it in the new year, but I’ll definitely be earning a lot more than I thought I was going to before Christmas, so that’s awesome.

The increased worked load is really amazing. From what I was doing previously with this company, to what I’m doing now, phewee.

It’s funny though, the hours are the same, 11/12 every day, but I’m probably doing 30-40% or more deliveries every day, which even taking Christmas into account, is a big jump.

I’m going to keep my head down and just get on with whatever is thrown at me until Christmas and hopefully something will appear for the new year.

Until then, it’s 6 day weeks, delivering a stupid amount of parcels, haha.

The life of a delivery driver a.

On the exercise front, I’ve not done anything for over a week. The first part of last week was good, but then I stopped doing anything and this week I’ve just been so whacked from the 11/12hr days at my new job that I’ve not bothered doing anything.

I’ll probably start getting used to the workload next week sometime so I’ll do some bodyweight stuff and then probably get back to doing some weights again the week after.

Until next time…




Delivery driving isn’t for the faint of heart.

Delivery driving is most definitely not for the faint of heart.

Of course, I already knew that, but this last week has reaffirmed it to me.

From the beginning of last week at the new delivery job and being anxious before I started it. To feeling confident I could do the job once I was a few days into it, to then feeling anxious again after being told there was no work one day and then feeling confident again when I received a full-time job offer the same day.

Now here we are in a brand new week and I’m feeling anxious again ffs.

I’ve just been informed that the new delivery company I’m working for have had some serious issues in another depo that supplies the one I’m working out of and that there won’t be any work until at least Friday of this week.

The person who I report to sounded genuine enough and slightly embarrassed when he was telling me all this and also said that I’ll still get paid (although a slightly reduced day rate) so as to ensure I’ve got my van hire covered and some wage coming in for the days I don’t work.

But for some reason I felt like I wasn’t being told the whole truth and that I was being lied to. Maybe it’s just my lack of trust in someone I don’t really know yet, but experience has taught me otherwise and I feel that something is amiss.

The only upside is that firstly I’ve not been told there’s no work at all, so that’s a start, but I can also at least go and earn some money elsewhere for a few hours a day delivering parcels for another company now that I have a van.

If it turns out that I don’t get any money from the original delivery job, then at least I’ve still got some money coming in to cover my van hire costs and some wage to cover the bills too.

If I do get paid from the original delivery job then I’ll have some extra money at the end of the week, which would be awesome.

So it’s a bit of negative news to start the week, but it isn’t as bad as it could’ve been and at least there is a silver lining to it.

Although, I haven’t worked for this other delivery company yet, so they might be fuckwits to work for and chuck loads of parcels at me!

I’m sure they are not, but we’ll see how it goes as I’ve confirmed I can work tomorrow just now and if the original delivery job contacts me before I start tomorrow to say there is work, then I’ll just cancel this back up delivery job, they’ve always got drivers looking for work so they’ll be ok with it.

Hey ho. All part of a temporary delivery drivers life I guess. I just need to keep my chin up until I’ve got a permanent job again and things will be fine.

I need to go and lift some weights now I think. And listen to some boom boom music!

Until next time…


Back to a work routine once again.

So this week has been great. Finally started my new delivery driver role. Although it’s been a week of contrasting emotions.

From the beginning of the week feeling a little anxious to feeling secure during the middle of the week and then back to feeling a little anxious today.

That’s delivery driving for you though.

So the start of the week was great. Finally starting something I’ve been waiting on for nearly a month. I got into the swing of things pretty quickly. Everything I’d learnt and experienced in my last delivery driving role came flooding back and I had a good first day.

By the 2nd and 3rd days, I was well into it and was feeling more than confident I could do the job once it gets really into the Christmas rush, which is good.

I’d even been offered a full-time job starting in the New Year, which is awesome. I’m mulling it over for a few days before confirming I’ll definitely take it, but I’m pretty sure I will, I just need to way up all my options.

But then we’re at the end of the week and I’m feeling anxious again. Money wise I’m fine, well, once I get paid in a few weeks but work wise not so much.

I was informed last night that there was no work today, but that we’d still get paid a days wage, great result I thought. But then a discussion is needed for next week apparently, so we’ll see what that entails.

Hopefully nothing about a reduced income, just on what to expect workload wise. Hopefully.

I’d gone into the job thinking that if I had to work 10-12hrs, then fine. That’s what I did in my last delivery role, so I’d be happy doing that again, but this time only over 4 days, so the longer hours would be fine.

So this week has been a great bonus, only doing about 6hrs of work a day at the most and then having today off. I’m definitely expecting a normal 10+ hr day once it gets busy, so I’m enjoying this lull whilst it lasts.

Exercise wise I’ve not done any weightlifting so far this week, just a little bodyweight exercise here and there, I’ve been pretty whacked in the evenings. Which is to be considered, seeing as though I’ve not done anything job wise for a long while.

Mentally I’m completely back on it. The cloud has well and truly lifted and I’m really confident that things are moving forward in a positive way once again.

It’s weird looking back over the last few months. I’ve reread a few of my blog entries and I wonder who the person is that wrote them.

It’s certainly not the positive, forward-looking, proactive person that I’ve come to know as my real self.

I guess not everything can be a positive experience and only when negative things happen do I really appreciate the positive things.

Ahhh, what to do on a day off on a cold, frosty autumnal day whilst everyone else is working?

Think I’ll stay in the warm and watch some sci-fi movies!

Until next time…



Time flies when reality hits home.

So, it’s been a long, but enlightening few weeks since I last wrote anything.

What’s happened?

Well, to start with, my old delivery job turned into a dead end. The new boss said there wasn’t anything for me, which was disappointing, but to be expected.

I got the impression that there might be something in the New Year though, so I’ve still got a little light at the end of the tunnel, which is good.

So once that was knocked on the head and I went full steam ahead with the other delivery job offer I had, which starts on 14th Nov.

The one that’s only 4 days a week, for 6 weeks and requires me to hire a van and get insurance etc.

The pay should still be exactly the minimum I need to pay the bills, so it’s good enough to get me working again.

There is a potential full-time position in the New Year with it, so as long as I don’t fuck it up, I’ve got a full-time job again.

The only pain with this delivery driver job is that the pay is so spread out.

I think because I’m working for a company who is getting sub-contract work from another company, the pay is spread out.

So I don’t get paid for the first 3 weeks of the job, which is fine, like a fulltime job you work a month in hand then get paid.

However, at the end of the 3rd week, I’ll only receive the 1st weeks pay as the invoice period is 14 days. So to make sure I get some money at the end of Nov I’ll only be able to invoice the first week of work I do.

But then I’ve been told that there will only be another 2 payments before Christmas and the rest will be paid after.

Which is a big shit.

But thankfully the new boss did mention that I should be able to sub some money from my earnings before Christmas, so I should be able to make up the shortfall and at least receive a months money before Christmas, to see me through to the New Year.

Anyway, it’s a little complicated financially at the moment, but things should work out once I’m into the New Year.

ScreenHunter_222 Nov. 08 12.24

In the meantime, I’ve bitten the bullet and sold a few possessions to raise some cash.

I had a long think about a few things over the last few weeks and I can’t and don’t want to borrow any more money from family so I’ve had to realise that money is more important than possessions right now.

The few things I’ve sold have raised nearly a months worth of money, so it’s by no means been an easy decision, as I’ve had to really think about the things I sold, their value to me in materialistic terms and monetary terms.

The things I’ve sold I should be able to obtain again in the future, if I want to or need to, but right now their value to me means more in monetary terms than anything else.

With the unexpected breaking down of our car and it needing a fair amount of work doing on it. Added to some family coming to visit out of the blue and us needing money to entertain them on top of the obvious point of Christmas just being around the corner and the added expenses that come with that.

Although that later point is an expense that I would spend out on regardless of the situation, but not having any money has meant it’s loomed larger than normal on the horizon.

These have all meant a large chunk of money required right when it is least expected.

But then monetary expenses tend to happen like that. They come out of the blue.

Hence my anger at myself for not being prepared for it all. Or at least being prepared, then putting myself in the situation that meant I was no longer prepared for it.

Pah! Fucking tosh, I need to go lift some weights and distress.

Long story short, things are looking up again, but it’s certainly been a difficult few months. All of my own making, which doesn’t make it any easier to handle, so I can at least understand myself in where I have gone for the last month or two!

I think I might be getting a split personality pmsl.

I’ve been consistent on the lifting side of things the last few weeks, which is a positive.

I’ve done some form of weight lifting every weekday and I’m feeling much better mentally for it. I’ve also been out for a bike ride or long walk and run on the treadmill consistently the last few weeks too.

I can feel that the mist that had descended over my mind a few weeks ago has definitely lifted and I can see clearly how I got into my current situation and more importantly, how to get out of it.

It takes a while to get into motion I guess. Having had the almost epiphany like mind fuck a few weeks ago. Right up to today the momentum has been building and it finally feels like things are back on track again.

I just need to get back to a regular work routine now and things will be pucker.

Having time to do things that you enjoy is great, but when you have all day, every day, those things seem to lose their enjoyment, especially when you realise to continue to enjoy them requires…. money!

I’ve quickly learnt that most of the things I like to do require money, which at the moment I’m only capable of earning through a day job.

I’ve tried a few other ways of making money, but I’ve not found anything I can either stick with (due to lack of passion for it) or that I can continue with a small amount of money.

Hey ho, it is what it is, something will come along eventually I’m sure of it. I just need to make sure that we’re in a financial position to take advantage of it.

Until next time…


Don’t make quick decisions without thinking about the longterm.

So today is the day I should find out whether or not I can return to my previous delivery driving job.

I spoke to one of the supervisors there on Monday and they said it would be by today that they should be able to speak to the depot manager and hopefully he’d be happy for me to come back.

I’m pretty nervous or maybe anxious, but either way, I can’t wait to find out, I really need this, which is stupid.

I think I’m so eager to get back to the old job because it’s comfortable, I know it inside out almost, I’m good at the job and so I want it back.

I’m not feeling very confident at the moment because I’ve started to think that if he wanted me back he would’ve said so straight away. So now part of me is anxious that I won’t get the job back and will have to look elsewhere.

Which is kind of ok as I should have something lined up.

The other delivery driver job I might have is further away from home, in fact, it’s about 35-minute drive instead of a 5-minute drive.

That would be a pain every morning and night, but it is what it is, it’s the only job that has got back to me eager to meet me and talk about a start date.

This 2nd delivery driver job is also less money each week, although it is only advertised as 4 days a week, which is a little weird for delivery driver job, so there might be room to earn more by working extra days.

Anyway, it’s enough money each month to get us through Christmas and into the New Year and I’d see how I was feeling whether I would stay with it or not.

So, I’m giving my old job until around mid-afternoon to contact me and then I’ll ring them and if it’s a no then I’ve still got time today to ring the other job and see what it’s about.

Money is very tight now and I need to be in a job as of next week.

I feel really stupid really now that reality has kicked in and the cloud has lifted from over me.

Why did I leave my old delivery driver job, if the pros far outweighed the cons?

Even if I was unhappy with it as I thought I was, I should have just looked for something else first so that I had a continual wage coming in, as I have in the past and as any other person probably would.

But then I’ve noticed that once I get fed up of something and don’t see a way to change it for the better, I tend to make quick decisions and resolve the situation as I see fit without thinking about the long term.

Sure in the short term I got out of that job I didn’t like at the time, but now here I am nearly 8 weeks later and I’ve only had 1 weeks worth of money come in and now I’m anxious as to how we’ll pay the bills at the end of this month.

I’ve sat down and worked our finances for the next month and thankfully we just have enough, which includes getting our car fixed unexpectedly!

Which reminds me, from now on I need to plan for unexpected financial expenses. The last couple of years a few times something has cropped up and we haven’t had enough money to cover the expense.

This has to stop from here on in if we’re to reach our 5-year goal of being debt free…. pah, that’s miles away right now for fuck sake!

I’ve always been pretty laid back about money, as long as I have enough to cover the short term, I’ve never worried about the longterm, it’ll sort itself out.

And yet here I am right now and I’m struggling to get through the short-term and there is no longterm at this point.

I’m 40 years old for fuck sake. I need to get another job and if it only just pays the bills I need to stick with it until I find another one and not just quit.

The stupid thing is about 3 months ago we were actually starting to see the end of our debt, our 5-year plan was really starting to kick in.

And here I am pulling it to a dead stop.

Fucking idiot.

Hey ho, that’s enough self-loathing.

I’ve just done a brisk 15 minutes of bodyweight exercise, my mind is clear and I’m ready to hit the last part of the year head-on.

Until next time…


Listen to your subconscious, it’s trying to tell you something.

So, I started my new delivery job last week…… and I lasted just the week.

I’m not sure what happened on Friday afternoon but something beyond what I can easily explain happened.

Once I got home and tried to get a few hours sleep having only got 5hrs the night before, I felt like I just dozed on and off all afternoon.

In between the dozing though, my mind kept taking me back to my previous job.

I woke up properly about 3hrs later and sat on the sofa bleary-eyed staring out at our rear garden thinking to myself, was I just dreaming or am I still at my old job.

It was as if my subconscious had replayed the previous 6 months of me working at my old job and it felt like I was still there.

I felt really weird. Like something was telling me that this was what I was supposed to be doing, rather than my new job.

So I got myself up and downed a coffee to shake the sleepy cobwebs off and sharpen my senses and then booted up my laptop and started writing.

I wrote down pros and cons of my previous job. And something strange appeared.

The list of cons was far smaller than the list of pros.

I sat there for a minute or two staring at the screen, thinking to myself, is that really what I left the job for?

Were those really the things that I didn’t like. And being honest with myself, I couldn’t think of anything else negative about the job.

I closed the laptop lid and stood up and shouted at myself ‘you fucking idiot’.

I looked out into the garden and just thought to myself, what the fuck have I done.

I enjoyed the work, I enjoyed being busy, putting smiles on people’s faces delivering their parcels. I enjoyed working with most of the people. And most importantly I was good at the job.

I couldn’t even say the negatives were that negative when I really focused on them.

12hr days every now and again, mostly 10-11hr days – oh well, that’s parcel delivery.

One day at the weekend every 3 weeks. Again, oh well, that’s parcel delivery.

The income not being consistent. Oh well, during the quietest month it was still the highest wage I’d ever earned.

The disorganisation. Well, that was mainly specific to the depot manager not sorting things out and my 2nd role with the company as a 7.5 ton delivery driver.

That last one was the kicker.

I repeated it to myself.

Most of the disorganisation I disliked was during the 7.5 ton driver role.

So why didn’t I ask to go back as a 3.5 ton driver?

I’ve just covered the cons of it, which then turned out to not be that much of a negative.

The pro’s then far outweighed the negatives.

I sat back down on the sofa with the realisation I’d blown one of the best jobs I’d ever had.

What the fuck Mike.

I mulled on this for the next few days and yesterday decided to take some action.

I got in touch with a few people at my previous job. I asked a few questions and then took the plunge.

Was there any way I could get my old job back?

The short answer was ‘fuck yes, they’d love me back’

Holy shit!

The long-winded answer was that one of the supervisors who does want me back has to check with the new depot manager.

New depot manager?

That’s interesting.

Did my leaving cause a chain of events that then caused him to leave?

I wouldn’t be the sole reason, but I know a few other drivers left before I did, others may well have done so after I left too.

Perhaps he felt he couldn’t do the job, or perhaps the company pushed him to resign.

Who knows.

But from my point of view, perhaps the issues I had with the depot would be resolved with a new depot manager?

So, I’m currently waiting to hear if the new depot manager wants to speak to me.

Fingers, toes and everything else crossed!

I’ve sat here most of this morning since getting out of bed, thinking about that Friday afternoon and what my subconscious was doing.

I’m not religious or spiritual in any way and don’t believe it was anything like that, but I do believe there are things that we as humans don’t understand yet. The subconscious mind very much being one of them.

I’ve had experiences with my subconscious in the past that I can’t explain how they happened and have put them down as coincidences etc.

But the more I’ve experienced and more importantly paid attention to these occurrences, the more I put it down to something more.

Perhaps my mind was just shuffling a load of memories around, like a hard drive does during a defrag?

Perhaps I’ve put more on those memories and that defrag than I should have.

But look what’s happened, it can’t be just a coincidence.

Can it?

Until next time…


To be happy, be yourself.

So I’ve finally started my new job, whoop.

Not done any actual driving as yet, so much health and safety guff to go through first, in fact, a whole week of it. But it’s what a lot of companies do these days because you know ‘common sense’ seems to be a swiftly diminishing attribute.

Because of this, companies have to create a lot of manuals and paperwork to ensure they have covered all the ‘common sense’ things an idiot might seemingly do.

Hey ho, I’m being paid to sit on my arse like office workers do, can’t whine.

Hopefully, I’ll be with a driver by the end of the week and then all of next week, learning out on the road, then I’ll be out on my own at some point towards the end of next week or the week after, we’ll see.

I think I hit a nerve with one of the trainee’s today when I commented that everything we’ve been learning has been something a teenager should know once they’ve been in their first job for a month.

You know, not putting your hand in between two massive metal door hinges as they open.

Or, getting up onto a truck, pulling a cage of goods out of the back and walking backwards and falling off the back of the truck.

Apparently, it’s not common sense to not do either of those.

Ok precious, whatever you say.

I was glad to finish up this afternoon, I can see the finish line and I’ll be out on the road again soon enough.

Be yourself

Until next time…